ADHD – Has medication helped me?
Howdy,
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Mainly cause I am taking so much medication lately and it slightly kills me ><; to take so much. So it has been on mind, is this helping?
This is an incredibility personal post, but I hope it is helpful if you are on the fence on trying medications. TDLR: yes. the answer is yes.
For ADHD I started out taking Strattera, which worked for me well. They paired it with Clonidine to take at night to sleep on the meds. I miss that one so much.
My personal doctor, I’ve only had the one as an adult, put me on Wellbutrin XL & Naltrexone to help with weight loss – the combination is suppose to be helpful. I did loose some weight, not a ton but some HOWEVER it managed to stay off, so woo. I’ll take it.
On top of these, I take a birth control pill, cause gremlins D: I’ve had to take Nexium for the last few months, working my way off that, should be good by end of NOV I think on that. I take Fish Oil as I’ve heard it is good for ADHD as well. I slip in a multivitamin on the weekend, just in case too >>;
I just requested another ADHD medication for my hormonal issues. I am so excited to try that during my luteral phase. It’s a low dose Adderall.
I am 37, I have two day and night pill cases 🫠 this is a lot. It kills ME but when I think how much better I feel emotionally, it’s worth it.
In the second case I am testing out collagen (this is vain but my upper cheeks feel flat to me, and I thought I’d try it. It was cheap to try so why not), I take a fiber gummy, this is the one that worked for me (not an affiliate link). I tried like 5 types until I found one that worked for me. I started taking magnesium cause the internet suggested it. I am not sure I feel a difference, but I’ll finish the bottle. I guess I am sleeping better 🤔 without drugs in like 4 years. So maybe that is related.
In addition to these DAILY bitches, I am low on vitamin D, so I do a hyper dose on Fridays.
I have an inhaler cause the air is so dry I started having issues the last few years. (God bless this thing, it helps SO much)
I take Mannose Cranberry if we are active >>; (I also recommend for female things)
I am working off Caffeine for the Adderall, but I took the one with L-Theanine, 10/10 recommend that one over plain.
I am currently not taking sleep medication. I have Trazedone and some of the Clonidine left, if needed but I have been doing really well. Trazedone did nothing for me though, when I tried it. I was using Melatonin 10mg with no issues.
So you can see why it looks like I am doing worse. Not better. Certainly feels that way sometimes. Ugh. It’s a lot. But when I look back to how I felt and how I got here, I feel so much better. I feel so sane, and I don’t have WEEKS at a time where I do the bare minimum and lay in bed. It’s amazing.
I figured out something was wrong in like 2012-ish, somewhere around there. My partner told me some people were on tiptoes around me cause I seemed angry a lot. So I was clearly not hiding that well enough in my adult job (at the time we worked together). I immediately went and got St. Johns Wort. Which I had heard was a good natural anti-depressant. It worked great for a year or so, and several after but I alternated taking and not, as it can make you sunsenstive and be less effective overall. So I would do like 3 months on, 3 off. Worked great for years.
In Denver, I knew I was depressed and just dealt with it. It’s really hard to get help with insurance, much less without. Also, unironically, the fix for depression and anxiety has a lot of forms. At the end of 2019 I realized I had ADHD from a conversation. I’ve said it before but here it is:
I read this, below and asked my partner about it, like HAHA I think like that kinda deal….
Yeah that is ADHD. That apparently isn’t normal. Sure there is creative, and quirky and you may not be ADHD and think in a similar way. It’s not perfect. But this stupid post, I found on Pinterest at the time, sent me down a hyper-focused rabbit hole that led to Spark Mental Health Centers. I still recommend if you can afford it.
trigger warning here; suicidal discussion
Before, I had a minimum of 3 days to the whole week before ovulation that I laid in bed when I was not in work. I was not productive. I was sad, probably snippy and for sure suicidal. I didn’t feel like I would act on it because I could never to my Mother or partner. But I started to put together a plan to push him away and make him hate me so it wouldn’t matter at some point. I am not sure if he knows that but yeah. I was pretty bad in this phase.
Time before my period was bad, but in a bitchy, ragey way. I had a short temper, felt so irrational about it too – like I COULD tell I was being crazy but couldn’t stop it. It was also awful.
Then every month, like a light switch, it would turn off and I would feel amazing and normal and get back to being a pretty happy, productive person. Holy crap it was insane. I still feel this switch, just less dramatically. I am specifically, personally, just down before ovulation. I can sometimes feel it too >>; not always but man when I look at the calendar and realize OH that is why I feel so negative. It’s such a relief and I know I’ll be better in a day or two.
The reason I want to emphasis this so hard, is because before medication, I felt that just knowing what and when I would be down (PMDD) was as good as it would get. It’s depressing as hell realizing how much life you are missing out on because of mood. That was what made me have suicidal thoughts. The fact that this was it, this was never going to get better, knowing and planning around it was the best this was going to get. I was missing out on so much.
Obviously I feel better. God. So much better.
For awhile I felt like I was having ‘down’ time every 3 months or so – same time frame before ovulation, but I’d be fine for a few months, then have some down days in the third month. It’s rare for me to feel so bad I go to bed at like 5 PM now. It’s rare for me to call out of work because I just can’t. Mind you, I work hybrid now which is helpful – I definitely take advantage of this and stay home on meh days so I don’t have to socialize.
But it’s rare, not every other week. Not every month even. I still track my hormones very carefully. I am fortunate that I am pretty regular – probably because of the birth control – oh as a side there, I tried without birth control, it didn’t help me personally. I may not always feel amazingly productive, which sucks >>; I’d love to feel 100% everyday, but I don’t feel so bad about it that I’m just waiting to give up. I am excited to try Adderall over the time frame in which I feel BLEH and see how it vibes.
I realize now medication is not bad. I was so afraid to try it and now I am keep adding more to find the optimal set. A friend of mine was just doing the same thing, avoiding medication cause it was so scary. They tried it and have been doing amazing. It’s hard. It’s scary. You have to work towards over coming that feeling on your own, but it’s worth it.
I wanted to share this cause it’s been on my mind a lot. Am I better on so many pills? Yes. The answer is yes. It might not look that way from the outside to everyone because the handful of medication I have right now, but my gawd. The difference in how I feel is life and death different.
Also I am still fighting to try Ozempic. Dammit. Insurance. After I finish the sleep work this year (did like 2 sleep studies this year), I may do this out of pocket. I only have the capacity to argue for one thing at a time at bureaucratic BS so yeah.
Happy living
