If you want to get things done but feel stuck, you’re not alone. Learn how executive dysfunction works and how to ease into action.

There are days when I rewrite my list and stare at it like it’s a foreign language. I know, in my head, there are are steps I can be working towards on this list. I want to do the list. I just can’t seem to get moving.

Why can’t I just do the thing.

Well, I’ve learnt some pretty good coping skills while apparently raw dogging life with ADHD, and I want to share those with you. Medication makes it easier for me, but not a 100% hit rate that is for sure. That is when I lean back on these past lessons and try them as well.

I’ll be honest though, and I’ve preached this my whole life, some days, you have to just learn to give up and be kind to yourself. Try again later.

Executive Dysfunction vs Tasks Paralysis

While they’re closely related, executive dysfunction and task paralysis aren’t exactly the same. Executive dysfunction is a broader neurological struggle, it affects your ability to plan, start, shift, or complete tasks.

Task paralysis, on the other hand, is a symptom that can stem from executive dysfunction. It’s that specific feeling of being mentally frozen when facing a task, even when you want to start. Think of executive dysfunction as the system issue, and task paralysis as one way it shows up. It often happens when we are triggered by overwhelm, perfectionism, or too many choices – one way we can set ourselves up get around it is to tackle these. I think the best way I’ve seen this described is procrastination is usually fun things, while this is more like you can do anything but the thing and its incredibly anxiety inducing.

Obligatory not a doctor, these are my experiences, and if I learn this is incorrect or a better way to express it, I’ll come update it.

It’s Not Just Procrastination

Executive dysfunction is when your brain struggles to function. Things like tasks, shifting gears, organizing and emotions all get more complicated. These are not personality flaws. They’re neurological hiccups. So if you’ve ever sat frozen in front of a pile of laundry or a blank screen thinking,

“What is wrong with me?” Just know, same.

For me, I struggle with organizing my thoughts constantly. I didn’t realize how self conscience I was about it until this last year and I’ve been working on fixing the shame around it for myself. Sometimes my words come out jumbled – and I can’t organize a story well. I often have multiple drafts of things or do brain dumps to get me organized. By putting it on paper, I can go back and restructure it in a more cohesive way. It feels so embarrassing and I think it is where a lot of my anxiety around people originate.

I am anxious because I feel like I think or speak differently (which I do a lot of the time) and it makes me feel like people are staring in a bad way or thinking something bad – which is absolutely an out loud criticism I’ve gotten in the past, thus the fear.

Medication to date, has not help me with this, and this is the best I have at the moment. I’d absolutely scream it from the mountains if I had a better solution. I think the thinking process is just different for me (us, ADHDers) which can be very beneficial in general; but in practice makes your feel like an alien.

Getting Unstuck

As far as the starting tasks, it is easier on medication. For me If I get stuck somewhere I try a few methods before I give up.

I set timers when I am struggling with focus. I task switch to keep my brain more engaged – for example work, write, work, write. Or physical tasks with games – so doing some unpacking lately then I’ll play a few levels on a game as a break, rinse repeat. Task switching helps me when I am struggling with focus and attention on something that is boring.

Timers help me when I don’t want to start, as it promises it will end. After this next set of 10 minutes, I never have to do this thing again.

If I am having trouble with overwhelm, which happens a lot. I tend to rewrite my lists and break the items down into smaller tasks. I am talking super small. For example, I wrote a list of things I want to get done today – its all small items for unpacking – such as move the paper holder into the closet, then fill it. Adjust the packaging under the desk, put away desk supplies, find my computer wires. Etc. Where some people might be able to put unpack or work on these things without a specific list, I need to see what I want to get done today in small tasks so I can focus in on them. It also helps to check them off in smaller burst for motivation. I can see the progress easier, keeping me inspired to keep going.

Sometimes putting “Do the Laundry” on the list is demotivating. So instead putting: Wash clothes, dry clothes, hang gentle items, put away clothes – feels more manageable.

I am struggling this week with focus for sure. Ugh.

Oh another tip, candy helps. As silly as that sounds. Sugar, sour, or crunchy candy is a great way to keep yourself focused as well – I do this on computer tasks. Sour candy is great for anxiety as well. These textures or flavors can stimulate the brain as you are doing tasks – making something that is boring or harder, a little easier.

One last thing, before I was diagnosed, I use to do this thing at work when I was really having a bad day…I would create a clock on a post it and mark the time down until I got to leave. It helped me visualize the time, and check something off, to make the day feel slightly better. Even just saying it out loud sounds dramatic, but it helps.

Never feel bad for needing additional tools or help to get things done.

The Invisible Effort of “Doing Nothing”

The problem with ADHD, and people are getting better about this; it’s not that we are not trying. We’re trying so hard. It’s in the head, literally. We know and are learning how Dopamine fuels the body into things all the time – for example we just learned dopamine is what helps the body move; here an article by John Hopkins discussing how people with more can do more easier.

Sometimes just thinking about the task uses up all the mental energy. Sometimes the overwhelm hits so fast, the only option is to shut down. Executive dysfunction doesn’t look like a physical fight, but it is one. And calling it laziness doesn’t help. It adds guilt to the pile.

Talking to your loved ones can help. It depends on your level of comfort an – and relationship of course, but letting them know what helps and doesn’t – can help you. For example, my partner has gotten really great at understanding that it’s not a lack of effort or laziness. Try being open about it something they said hurts your feelings – rejection sensitivity is a real but if you can in the moment, say “hey that wasn’t helpful, it hurt me” and explain why. It can help them stop doing those things and be more supportive. Not everyone is going to care, but those who love you will listen.

He is the reason our house(s) have not burnt down >>; the doors get locked and its pretty clean most of the time. He just compensates for me and helps hold me accountable when I forget things – with some grace of course. I also help him, of course, we are imperfect and I like to think we compliment each other in the right ways to do the adult things.

Final Reminder: You’re Not Lazy

You’re not lazy. You’re navigating something that most people don’t even think about. I will never forget the studies that show neurotypical – and again I know now everyone likes this term – just do the things. They don’t have to devote energy to remember, organizing or just building habits. That is why they are habits. They just get done. They don’t think about tasks constantly. Its baffling to the ADHD mind.

A great resources and leading doctor, Dr. Russell Barkley has videos and study updates that might make you feel at least seen. I love watching his Saturday updates and will miss him as he retires.

Signed, sealed, slightly distracted,

Happy Planning